Top 5 Pinoy Reasons to watch the Beijing Olympics by Leonard
The XXIX Olympic Games kicked off on 08/08/08 and President GMA was there to cheer on the 15-person Filipino delegation. She's like a shitty marital partner, always going out to the parties but never cleaning the house. But really, what's to see?
Never fear, here are FIVE good Pinoy reasons to watch the Beijing Games:
1. Manny Pacquiao - "The Destroyer" is the official Flag Bearer for the Philippines. Well, this *seems* like a good reason to watch the Games, but it sucks as soon as you find out that Pac-Man isn't actually competing in the Games, he was specially arranged by GMA to represent the nation in the Opening Ceremonies only and after that, doesn't gotta do shit. This is sort of like your Mom forcing you to ask the tall mestizo doctor's son to be your escort for your debut, even though you're really dating the short dark chubby guy who gets to drive you and your Mom to the Oriental Market like a sucker. Silver lining? The Phils actually WON silvers for boxing at the 64 and 96 Games - so maybe flyweight Harry Tanamor can raise that to Gold at this year's Games.
2. Mark Javier - Archer Mark Javier gets to look cool while competing for Gold. Shoot man - archery is an awesome sport. Reminds me of Rambo or Dukes of Hazzard or Green Arrow -- only its Brown Arrow. Pretty good for a country that doesn't grow apples, because what are you supposed to put on little kids heads for target practice?
3. Christel Simms - The teenage swimming dynamo is actually a Fil-Am from Hawaii, but she's reppin' for the Motherland. She's not the first Fil-Am wearing a swimming cap to quest for the gold, that honour belongs to Vicky Manalo Draves, who actually won the gold in 1948 for springboard and platform diving.
4. Taekwondo - Filipinos fascination with all things Korean continues with Mary Antoinette Rivero and Tshomlee Go hopefully giving us a medal finish that is just as dramatic and compelling as a Korean Teleseyre. If not, cheering for Tshomlee Go will fun all by itself: GO! TSHOMLEE! GO!!!!
5. Olympic TV Segments - The produced television spots that accompany the Olympics are just as good a the events themselves. Filipinos can breathe easy as NBC turns its attention to Beijing street delicacies such as bbq snake on a stick, deep-fried crickets, sea urchins and yak's testicles. These street treats make our baluts seem like filet mignon!
Look, someone is grosser than us! YESSSSSS!